So this is one of those moments my anxiety ranks highest.

We’re getting severe thunderstorms and I have a LARGE fear of them. It’s usually pill, book, and tea time to try and calm me down. Doesn’t always work, of course.

The faster they’re over the better..

What do you do in the worst high anxiety moments??


It’s 11:48PM and, usually, I’m asleep by now thanks to the routine my Pomeranian has put me into.

But thanks to a killer migraine I’ve had all day it seems sleep will be eluding me. I would love to read but, again, the whole pain and concentration thing is a little hard to focus with.

What do you do to get rid of migraines that seem to linger? Any tips?


Today is one of those days where Im having a hard time.

Part of me wants to cry. Part of me is frustrated. Part of me just.. wants to sleep.

I’ve got a killer headache and all I want to do is read butI can’t focus long enough to do so. Even though I know it’ll help. It’s possibly the heat and humidity now that Illinois is, FINALLY, starting to feel like summer. Probably too quickly. I don’t handle season change to well if it happens to quickly. 

On the upside I was allowed to buy Passenger by Alexander Bracken & Doon by Carey Corp. So I’m excited to get those in the mail soon! Yay 2 day shipping from! 

How are you all feeling? Any recent book purchases? Comment below and let me know!

After advertising my blog around on Twitter (Fandomlvr) and Facebook last night it was brought to my attention that most people have depression AND anxiety at the same time.

Most seem to think it’s one or the other and that’s a large misconception. It’s becoming better known that having one usually leads to the other, as you’re stuck in your head in with these thoughts that never seem to cease and thus drive you insane, usually depression first then anxiety kicking in second. But I think that’s where books come in as the relief.

When it comes to depression and books, say contemporary, real life type, YA books, I find reading these types are the best in my worst moments. While most would say “It’s just a book, none of that is real.” Where that might be true, it’s also false. Because a lot of writers write from real experiences. I find reading contemporary, real life type books during depression gives me a sense of “Okay, life doesn’t suck, after all. I might be able to find some sort of light at the end of my darkness. Have a life and love and happiness.” It gives me a sense of hope and purpose. My books make me happy. It turns my brain off for a time while making me think my life isn’t that bad.

My personal anxiety times, when the depression isn’t compounding at the same time, is a little weirder. For me it helps to read a fantastical book. Paranormal, magical, other worldly something or other. I think it just takes my mind else where and turns off the “OMG, I have no future, no love, no money, no this or that or other thing” thoughts that a contemporary or romance novel says you can or should or COULD have by a certain age. The fantasy turns off the panic, as much as we want it all to be real, we it redirects my thoughts into something fun and calms me down. Which is probably why MOST of my books are if the fantasy/paranormal type. Lol

Really, I’m putting this out there as I’m sort of rambling due to thoughts I’ve had in my head since last night. Maybe it’ll help you pick out how you read your books.

Try some different genre types. See what works during your darkest and anxious ridden times. Read before a job interview. A test. A doctors appointment you’re worried about.

My books help me through a lot and help me hold on each day, along with my adorable dogs Oreo & Bear. Lol. Find things to read and strive for in your every day to love. A book, a beautiful flower, your pet, or your loved ones.

Just hold on & Read ❤

Season Finales

Freaking frustrating. Lol.

Just chiming in. What’s with all the seasons end of tv shows killing off or making characters leave?!

I hold on to these characters and ships to get through my lulls in my own lack of romantic life! I need characters to hang on! I need them to live!

Stop. Killing. My. Favorite. People!!

/end rant


So I’m hoping to start this blog as a new endeavor into the life of my 30’s.

I say that because things haven’t gone quite as I would hope. As much of a life ‘plan’ everyone would like to think they can lay out we all know it never comes to fruition. For most.

Because of that Anxiety and Depression has ridden my life since my very early high school years. While books were never a major part of my life then and, most likely, my home work suffered because of it my adult years are filled with them. Probably even saved my life at one point.

I come to you with this blog in hopes that it’s a safe place for everyone with Anxiety and Depression problems but while also having a -PASSION- for books or any other relative fandom obsession!
Through this blog, hopefully, we can unite together, fangirl/fanboy, and reach out when we have a rough day.

Call me Bella, I’ll be here any time you need me. ❤